My turtle day, losing myself

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I’m not alright today

Sometimes this can last for 2 or 3 days

At most 4 days

It’s an internal struggle

I don’t want to be around people

Not friends, or family or anyone

I want to sit in my bedroom all alone listening to music

People call but I don’t answer

Friends text and I ignore them

I like to be all alone in my struggle

There is a sad kind of peace it brings me being here

Then everyone stops calling

Reality is talking to me

I need to move

One step at a time I tell myself

And like a turtle, I ever so slowly peek my head out

Is the coast clear?

Do I care?

Not really

It’s the introvert that needs to be alone

It fights so hard to stay in the world

But sometimes I wonder why

I only want to read a book and be alone in the silence

And it is enough

In fact, it’s more than enough

It’s one of the purest forms of content I have ever felt

It is selfish and yet it’s not

I don’t think of me during these times

It’s simple

I lose me

Involved in absolutly nothing is so soothing

And then all at once Monday comes

And I will face the world once more

I remember God’s words.

I guess I can’t stay here

Proverbs 18:1 ESV  

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

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3 Responses to My turtle day, losing myself

  1. belsbror says:

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