It was a bit strange when I felt that warm wet liquid roll down my cheek.
I haven’t cried in over 5 years.
Well, I’ve cried but mostly only when i’m alone
Over the past 6 years, a solid titanium wall was erected…. around my heart
Nothing was to ever penatrate that again
I had long been told that tears were weakness and the ridicule left me cold and hard
As my teenage son picked out a “surprise” movie and asked if I would watch it, I decided to drop my feverish attempts to clean.
My daughter nestled into the overstuffed comfy chair as I chose a seat on the couch opposite my son
The movie, Radio. One of our all time favorites; we hadn’t watched it in years.
What I didn’t expect was really “seeing” the movie for the first time.
Free to feel what I watched, I was overcome with happiness that we were all together, and also such a sadness that I had never felt this comfortable in my own home before. This of course was coupled with the great message of the movie itself.
I let go. Completely. The tears flowed freely, warming up my cheeks. At one point my son looked over at me and said, “mom, are you crying?”. I looked at him and said, “yes, some movies really touch you and it’s important to let it out. I’ve always loved this movie. I’m glad you picked it out, it was really a great choice”.
He smiled back and for the first time ever, I could see that he knew it was really okay to make your mom cry.